#BODILY A MINOR

[smileyg0th]

THE smiliest goth ever!! ^_^ (im not even goth.)

people will quit on you!!! you just gotta wake up every day and make sure you never quit on yourself.

★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆

🚬 strictly he/him unless specified in a post. anyone who misgenders me will be blocked !!!

🌑 i do post about my struggle with sh and an ed(nos) at times, please be aware of that. it is NOT the main focus of my account though: please do not be afraid to interact (if that isn’t triggering to you, and especially if we have shared interests or things like that).

⚰️ i am ian gallagher irl /srs, and i’m also part of an osdd1b system. may post about it time 2 time. others in the system may post with signoffs as well

🪐 i am THIRTEEN (13) bodily. gmt-5, est. detroit, michigan ^_^

🕷️ very strict parents, not much social media lmao. its all hidden from them. used to have it all but got it taken away // https://linktr.ee/smileyg0th

👁️ dni : people ik irl (with exceptions, yk who you are), zionists, racists, homo/transphobes, pro-contact paras, z00s, p3d0s, endo/tulpa supporters, british “people” /j, fakeclaimers

ミ°☆.*

[twistedcypher]

making a post to get my blog out here so uh

hi

I am a bill cipher fictive from the celestial system (I think the Main sys blog is celestialcollective333 I could be wrong)

We are bodily a minor so no nsfw asks

but other than that you can basically ask me anything

I know how weird you mortals can be (/j)

[i-got-a-pr0blrm]

When you can’t find source mates (sincerely, an American fictive)

[batflower-pup]

me when tumblr is currently safer than my dms with my bf

[tulpar-transmissions]

can i be a freak for a second.

[foursaints]

genuine question why are we not all giving barty a pet ferret in our modern au fic. am i looking in the wrong places. is this a trope already

[xemboy]

Urolagnia and omorashi flags! Only for consensual non-radqueer use.

Urolagnia: a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to, sexual interest in, or arousal from urine and/or urination. Also called urophilia.

Omorashi: a multifaceted kink under the urolagnia umbrella involving sexual attraction to, sexual interest in, or arousal from any of the following: having a full bladder, needing to urinate, accidents resulting from needing to urinate, intentionally wetting oneself, or witnessing others in such a predicament.

Had a lot of fun making these since they're relevant to my... interests.

RADQUEER/PROSHIP/PROFIC DNI. MY FLAGS ARE NOT FOR YOU.

[ID: A flag made of seven diagonal stripes going from the lower left to upper right. The first and last stripes are very thick, and the second and sixth are slightly thick. From left to right, the stripes are golden yellow, yellow, light yellow, black, light yellow, yellow, and golden yellow. /End ID.]

[ID: A flag made of seven diagonal stripes going from the lower left to upper right. The first and last stripes are very thick, and the second and sixth are slightly thick. From left to right, the stripes are golden yellow, ivory, white, pink, white, ivory, and golden yellow. /End ID.]

[dragonpigeons]

Hey guys, I wrote two accounts of my time in hospital and after for anyone interested. The first is posted here. The second I will post separately.

Update: Link to Part 2 is here.

---------------

Account I.

Hospital & After: The Physical & Medical Aspects of My Recovery

CW: bodily fluids, blood, needles, minor injuries.

》 Written with Twitter format in mind, edited for Tumblr.

i.

My family and I, we lived a normal existence. My mother was healthy. My father enjoyed a laid-back life but was otherwise healthy. My brother had lactose intolerance but was otherwise fit and healthy.

I had lived a normal life for the past three decades. I was regarded as fit and healthy. I liked to be active. I went for walks often. I ate a balanced diet. I got over illnesses normally. I had no allergies.

The symptoms began 2-3 years ago. More worries started to accumulate. There were more things to consider, more to do, and more to take responsibility for. And, damningly, what seemed like less time to have to deal with them all.

Everything was piling up in me physically. My body was hoarding all the things I wasn't facing and running away from. My body began to suffer under the weight of it all.

My body was slowly dying.

In May ‘24, my ankles started swelling. It built up quickly over the month and reached up my legs and hips. I finally went to my GP. She saw how serious it was via blood & urine tests. My results were off the charts. I was sent to the hospital right away.

At the hospital, they saw my blood count dropping. I had to have a blood transfusion. It helped my bloods somewhat, but I was still building up fluid and wasn't passing much urine. There was still something wrong with my body. I was still unwell.

They did more blood tests and found an antibody reading, which was also off the charts. The doctors told me I had SLE lupus nephritis. My own body was attacking my kidneys, which meant I couldn't pass urine and get rid of the fluid retention.

ii.

I was given a number of injections and IVs over the next few days. A boost to my low WBCs and neutrophils, prophylactic antibiotics, insulin to lower my potassium level, glucose to keep my blood sugars up, steroids to stabilise the lupus and stop the levels from rising higher.

Soon after, they put me on daily steroids in tablet form, along with a bunch of other pills - antibiotics, antifungal, antirheumatic, minerals, diuretics. They seemed to help keep my body stabilised. Though I did start getting side effects and symptoms.

I had insomnia and woke up often in the night. I also began having strange dreams. They felt like everything was submerged underwater. I couldn't understand what people were saying or doing. Also, my bowels were acting up, and I had to go to the toilet often.

All the while, my swelling continued to increase. I had to wait a few days to be transferred to another hospital. It became more difficult to stand and walk day by day. It was like moving with a bunch of clay wrapped around my feet and legs.

The only people I ended up talking to on a daily basis were my mother, who came to visit me every day with home cooked meals, and my brother via DMs. Everything just got too much, too fast. I had to make a lot of life-critical decisions in a short span of time.

Despite all that, I did find myself with time to think. I found myself thinking how crazy it was that my own body would choose to attack itself. I also found myself accepting that it did and what it meant.

Lupus was here to stay. Lupus would be my companion for life.

iii.

In the meantime, my kidney function dropped to 10%. I had a kidney biopsy done. The results were on the lighter side. There was no scarring but a lot of inflammation. The glomeruli were damaged quite severely, but they would be able to recover. My kidneys could heal.

Something interesting happened during all of this mayhem. I had small swollen lymph nodes for the past two years, which finally went away after the first antibiotic and steroid IVs. It was like the trash had been taken out. I felt I could think clearly for the first time in years.

One of the things I realised was that for nearly all my life, I had been caught up in the most trivial of things. Am I being ignored? Did I do something wrong? Do people even like my art? Does anyone actually like me?

I had used my energy on the wrong things. I came to realise, within the four white walls of my minimally-furnished ward room with a crappy plastic bed to sleep on, the more important things in life. Family. Friends. Community. Network.

The doctors proceeded to the next phase of my treatment. Though lupus had been stabilised by the steroids, my immune system needed to be suppressed in order to lower the levels.

Cyclophosphamide is a chemotherapy drug and, at standard doses, is the standard used to treat lupus patients. They explained the procedure and the risks. The first main risk was hemorrhagic cystitis. The second was infertility.

Since I didn't want children, it was a simpler decision for me to make. I had my first dose of the drug the next day. I didn't feel anything. The doctors told me it would kick in after 7-10 days.

Throughout the days, they continued to poke me like a pin cushion, checking my daily blood levels. My arms and hands were covered in bruises by the end. Some nurses were better than others. One had a shaky hand. I bled and bruised with them the most.

On my last day, the trend in my blood results showed improvement. My kidney function went from 10 to 14%. I was discharged that afternoon and waited for my meds. I chatted with an elderly man. I had chocolate biscuits. I was content.

iv.

My father picked me up and drove me back home. I took my first step out of the hospital after two weeks. Though it was summer, the weather greeted me with a cool, cloudy ambience. I opened my arms and welcomed it. I breathed in the fresh air. I smiled.

I was happy to be back in a comfortable bed and in the company of my family again. The environment was much better, more peaceful. I wasn't disturbed at odd hours of the night by nurses checking my vitals or giving me meds to eat.

My troubles weren't exactly over yet. I continued to have heart palpitations, and my swelling continued to increase over the next two days. I got worried that I would no longer be able to move. I feared I would have to be bed bound.

On the third day of being home, I finally felt myself getting lighter. I was passing more urine and going to the toilet more often. I gained 20kg+ since the start of the swelling. I went from 70+ down to 67 by day five.

On day six, things hit me like a truck. The chemotherapy drug had kicked in. My heart palpitations were hard and numerous. I grew exhausted. Even getting up to go to the toilet took so much out of me. I was down for the count for the following days.

I had to think about how to spend my energy each day. I prioritised eating, resting and going to the toilet. If I had an appointment, I'd try to prepare the day before. There were periods where I'd have more energy, and I'd make use of those.

Eventually, it did get easier as I learned how to manage my symptoms. Eat well, but don't overeat to reduce my palpitations. Eat fibre to keep the bowels moving. Drink fluids to keep hydrated. Rest often to conserve my energy.

v.

Since then, I've been getting better as the days go. It's been a rough and bumpy ride throughout. My symptoms and needs seem to change by the day. I have to adjust through trial and error.

Sometimes I get it wrong. Sometimes I get it right. Often, there's conflicting info on the Web. I have to take it all with a grain of salt (which is almost literally all I can have with my kidney injury) and find what works for me. I've learnt a lot. There's still more to learn.

Every day brings something new. I still get scared when something unwanted or unexpected happens. I still panic and rush to resolve the problem as if a meteor is about to hit the planet. I'm learning to just stop and do nothing. Calm myself. Observe.

I'm a high-strung person who tends to jump to the worst conclusions. I believe that with enough discipline and focus, I can change this for the better. It will take patience. It will take time. Something I thought I didn't have enough of. Now I know that I do.

There is time for everything. I just have to make it by cutting out the unnecessary and focusing on what truly matters.

Before, I squandered my time and energy. Now, I will spend them wisely as I recover and return to a new normality.

---

[smileyg0th]

tell me why some “dumbed down” kinder detransed version of the host’s ex just showed up in the headspace? she’s like some sort of manifestation of his fears but they’re apparently insys dating again.. like a week or two after said ex abandoned the host 🙁 genuinely if any systems could explain id absolutely love that i’m so sad

[endotxt]

random little: hey how much money do we have ira: .................. why? little: research purposes ira: like $40 little: cool thanx

< 20 minutes later >

ira, staring at the now $5 in the bank account:

[kittys-luvcorner]

Here is one of my newest crushes/Jennifer (the character NOT the actor)

Cause yay evil sapphics

She’s confirmed to be bi but personally I think she more has a preference in women (so like sapphic bi)

Feel like making this clear again the character NOT the actor

[gailynovelry]

Contending with the reality that we may genuinely have to shelve Mindhive for the time being and tone down other planned stories in the future in order to ride out the restrictions on sexuality being slapped down across the internet.

[thenigmas]

I just wanna say please interact if youre a dc fictive 🙏🙏 we need more dc friends

Also we need 2 start posting here more

[vforvalensa]

We don't get Space Aliens that often in contemporary media anymore. All we get nowadays are Alien Species, which are different cause those are all either totally alien and incomprehensible to humans or just people that don't look like humans. I want like a gray or a little green man from mars. I want a freaky little guy that doesn't think he's weird cause he's from space.

[cappurrccino]

I really just need to live in one of those houses like they have in Alabama, where like 4 or 5 houses all share one driveway, kind of sheltered from the road and are their own little "mini neighborhood" where the other houses have family and/or trusted friends, just so I can soothe the part of my anxiety that loses its shit every time I'm alone because "what if something happens"

[regallibellbright]

It occurs to me that “in fairly neutral amounts of pain today” is a statement that probably should not be taken as the “overall, pretty good!” I intend it as, even if I suspect the person I said it to will.